Rosie’s take on… Misplaced inspiration
Picture this, me at work at the end of December, surrounded by like-minded, strong women, saying to one of my co-workers “that’s it, I’m going to start getting my life sorted.”
I finally (after a long time of lazing around, feeling sorry for myself, being broke, mopey and all-round terrible to be around) decided that it was time I got my life together, fix all the problems I’m having, and do something with myself. My starting at Lorna Jane marks the beginning of the current motivational drive I’ve been experiencing on and off for the past few months. The only issue is? I’m having trouble transferring that motivation into any actual results.
Actually, it’s not fair to say that. Part of the ‘getting my life sorted’ epiphany was around getting back into the gym, and getting my fitness back. And while that’s still a work in progress, it’s more than underway. I am feeling 1000% better about that aspect of my life now that I am regularly working out again. It also means my motivation is at an all-time high in other aspects of my life as well.
But as far as the other parts of ‘getting my life together’ go, (getting a house with my boyfriend, getting a full-time job that I love, saving for more holidays and all of life’s luxuries, just to name a few), my motivation doesn’t seem to be enough for me to actually achieve it.
I am so motivated to find a full-time job that I enjoy, that I spend hours every week online applying for jobs and trying to figure out possible career options. To no avail. I am ecstatic to be working at Lorna Jane, I love it. The problem is, so many aspects of my life plan go hand in hand. I can’t get the house with my boyfriend without the job to fund it, and Lorna Jane isn’t meeting the ‘full-time’ requirement. Ideally I need another job that will meet the financial requirements of my plan, but still allow me to stay at the job I love. It doesn’t help that I basically have no idea what I want to do with my life. Or, I guess more accurately, I have too many ideas for what I want to do with my life. I can’t choose just one. I want to do it all, I want to experience it all. It’s overwhelming, and I don’t know where to begin.
I also continually have plenty of inspiration to write, both for my blog and for the imaginary novel I like to tell myself I’m writing. But guys, I’m going to let you in on a little secret.
I’m not writing a thing. I got nothing. No ideas whatsoever. Motivated to write? You bet. Any ability to actually write? Nope. I’m the worst aspiring writer ever. I barely even write blog posts. The number of days that I wake up and say “I’m going to write a blog post today”, just to stare blankly at the screen when I can’t think of anything to say, is out of control.
So what do I do when I can’t write? I read. A lot. Reading is my passion, my inspiration, my mood changer. It truly is an amazing thing. With every word on every page that I read, I get more inspired and motivated. It makes me want to read everything. I am limited only by my inability to read a million books at one time, and my slow human reading speed. I’m reading a book at the moment (and even if right now it feels like pulling teeth [just wait for the blog post review on it, oh boy]), I vow to finish it before I start a new one. I mean, since I already have two other books on the go, and also have been dying to read anything Harry Potter again (I’m thinking it’s time to re-read the Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them screenplay). The inspiration and motivation I get from reading is enough to overwhelm me, with the constant desire to absorb more; more stories, more characters, more emotions, more words. But it’s no closer to helping me write a successful blog than I am to reaching 6ft tall.
So, motivation? I got plenty. I am not lacking in that department at all. I go to the gym all the time, I read, I talk about writing a blog and my book, about magically finding my dream job that solves all my problems and ticks all the boxes. But I guess motivation doesn’t automatically translate into solutions. I guess I’ve got to keep trying. But in the meantime, hey! I managed to write a blog!
(Guys! Check out my new Facebook page! You can find me at Rosie’s take on. Go on, lash it a like. You know you want to.)