Movie theatre politics

Rosie’s take on… Assigned cinema seating
Nothing brings out the deep-seeded latent anger in me like when it’s assigned seating at the cinemas, and there’s that one dickhead that disrupts the whole goddamn cinema just because they refuse to sit in their own seat.

My patience is forever being tested when I’m at a cinema with assigned seating. I will literally never understand why people don’t just sit in their own flamin’ seat. They literally let you choose where you sit when you buy the ticket. So why don’t you just choose somewhere you know you will actually sit? 

You don’t get onto an airplane and go like “actually nah, I won’t sit at 23J, I’ll go sit at 2A”. You can’t decide you want to take someone else’s seat on an airplane, so why is the movies any different? 

I have a problem with getting everywhere early, so I’m always one of the first to take my seat in the theatre. I therefore have a bit of time to sit back and observe my fellow movie-goers before the movie begins. Nothing grinds my gears quite like sitting in the cinema and watching those bastards come in and say to each other “nah it’s okay, we’ll just sit here.” Chances are at some stage the actual people assigned to those seats will come in. And usually, upon finding someone else in their seats and wanting to avoid a confrontation, they will go sit elsewhere.

And then the people actually assigned to those seats will come in and see their seats are taken, so sit somewhere else; thus leading to this horrendous cycle of seat stealing, until finally someone comes in who isn’t a push-over and will say to the people in their seats “sorry mate, these seats are ours”. And then those people will have to go kick the people out of their seats, and then they will go kick the people out of their seats, and this will go on for all of eternity until the original wankers who ignored the system and disrespected all the other movie-goers by saying “nah it’s okay” will be forced to go to the seats they were originally supposed to sit in. 

If they had, indeed, gone to their assigned seats to begin with, the whole cinema could have been saved from that cruel, painful, cringeworthy game of musical chairs, and I wouldn’t feel like slapping every dad on a maintenance visit, and every mother and their snot-nosed child in the place, all waiting until the crowd stops swapping seats and settles down enough to be able to hear the intro to Finding Dory. 

So, I implore each and every one of you. If you go to the movies; sit in your own goddamn assigned seat. Or better yet, go to a movie theatre that doesn’t have assigned seating since apparently the concept is beyond your comprehension. 

*mic drop*

Actual photo of me at the movies yesterday

4 thoughts on “Movie theatre politics

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