Asking the important questions

Rosie’s take on… Things I think about​
I have a lot of thoughts that I don’t always get a chance to say to people. My brain is constantly busy with all sorts of exciting, hilarious thoughts that everybody misses out on enjoying. So here, enjoy this brief peek into my brain. 

Why can you pronounce forehead as ‘fore-head’ or ‘fo-red’, but you can only pronounce forearm as ‘fore-arm’, not ‘fo-rem’? Don’t get me wrong, I’m not complaining. Something about the pronunciation of ‘fo-red’ makes me get a shiver down my spine. It just seems, y’know, a little unfair that one is acceptable while if you said ‘fo-rem’ nobody would know what on earth you’re talking about. “Yeah I’m thinking about getting a new tattoo on my fo-rem”. Uh, what?

I always see these things on the internet like “the first guy to discover milk, what was he doing with that cow ha ha”. Um, I dunno, maybe he was familiar with the idea and functionality of what is, essentially, a nipple? Perhaps he was familiar with the idea of a female being able to feed her young, having probably been sustained himself by suckling on his mothers bosom? Perhaps he saw the calf sucking on the mumma cows teets, and thought “ooh that’s a much easier way of getting milk than trying to squeeze it out of my lactating wife!” I dunno, just a thought. 

What’s inside the hollow bit of a capsicum? How did it get in there? I’ve had people tell me it’s air. But how, did the capsicum grow around the air and trap some in? Or did it diffuse through the skin? If that’s the case, if you put a capsicum in a room full of smoke, then cut it open, will it be filled with smoke in the middle? 

You know those keyless cars, that have the ‘engine on/off’ button? Putting aside the questions I have about that fact alone, I can’t help but wonder: What would happen if you were driving down the freeway, going like 110km/h, then decided to press the ‘engine on/off’ button? Would the entire car come shuddering to a halt? Or is there an override so it just ignores you? I guess I’m old fashioned, I still have a car that requires a key, so I can’t test it. And when Mum was visiting and had a hire car that was keyless, she wouldn’t let me try. Even after I explained it was in the name of science.

What would actually happen if you won big money on a lotto ticket that was gifted to you? Like someone you know gives you a lotto ticket for your birthday, and you win $3 million. Do you reimburse them for the $10 they invested? Split the winnings? Is there some sort of etiquette in situations like that? Whenever I gift lotto tickets I fear they will win and forget all about me.

Why can you cook cold foods like milk and cheese but you can’t leave it in the sun? Like how does milk not go bad when in a saucepan over a stove when making white sauce, but if you leave a cup of milk in the sun to get warm you can’t drink it? 

At what stage does it go from “still has the Christmas tree up” to “already has the Christmas tree up”? 

Why is it okay to say you don’t believe in Valentine’s Day when you’re in a relationship, but as soon as you’re single and say you don’t believe in Valentine’s Day everyone assumes you’re bitter and upset? Like nah man, I don’t need a day put aside to show the person I love that I love them. I spoil myself every damn day, bye.

How deep does a tattoo go? Like, how many layers of skin would I have to lose before my tattoo disappears? I’m not planning on actually doing this, seeing as how I am fairly fond of having skin and I love my tattoos. I’m just curious.

Pretty much anyone can have a baby, and that scares me. There should be some sort of test you have to take to meet some sort of criteria before you’re allowed to bring another being into the world. Pretty much anyone can literally make another life without even meaning to. Why can’t we accidentally make something useful, like accidentally creating world peace. Or accidentally making a pizza.

Flies manage to find their way into the house somehow, through some tiny, secret passageway that I, as a mere human, cannot see. But then you can leave the front door wide open trying to shoo it outside, and it starts running into the door frame over and over, unable to find its way out. What is up with that?

People always say that if you cut your hair regularly it’ll grow faster. How??? The hair grows from the roots, how does it know the ends have been cut? 

What happens to all of the old email addresses that we made when we were kids but have long since abandoned? Or the accounts on those sites we used to use when we were kids but never do anymore, like Runescape or Neopets? I bet my Neopets are hungry as hell after not being fed for 10 years. One day our kids are going to try to make accounts on websites that will have absolutely no combinations of usernames left available because everyone used them up and then abandoned them.

It seems like most of these things I think about could be solved if I had even a very loose grasp on basic physics. But, alas, I will forever find trivial things to question. So now next time you’re drinking milk or eating a capsicum, maybe you can spare a thought for me, who can never get anything creative or, heaven forbid, productive done because my mind is always filled with useless questions and wonderings like whether or not flies deliberately act lost just to annoy us.

  

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