Tuesday blues

Rosie’s take on… Bad day 
You know those days where everything that happens just kind of sucks? Those days where nothing particularly bad happens but it still feels like an all round terrible day? Well, today was definitely one of those days.
My day started off at 4am when I woke up for absolutely no apparent reason. Probably at this stage I should have realised what sort of day I was in for, and decided to stay in bed forever. I did manage to go back to sleep, only to be awoken by my alarm at 5am. On Tuesday and Friday mornings Lisa and I (for some unknown, crazy reason) think it’s a good idea to get up at 5 to go spin at the gym. I always snooze my alarm once but today I somehow managed to turn it off, so I went back to sleep. If it wasn’t for Lisa texting me complaining about getting out of her bed (yes we text each other from within the same house), I would have fallen back to sleep completely and missed spin. But up I got, on this surprisingly cold (for December) morning. I didn’t realise how cold it was until I got in my car, and realised I forgot a jacket. 

Admittedly, spin wasn’t bad. It was one of the highlights of my day. One of the tracks was to a remix of Jingle Bells and that really improved the mood. 

I came home and had a shower and breakfast and skyped my sister in Canada. I knew I was going to go to the gym again soon for pump; I manage to squeeze in two workout classes before work on Tuesday’s. But since I was on the computer to my sister, I only made one piece of toast. I’ll just point out here that I didn’t eat before spin, so it’s now around 7.30 and I haven’t eaten at all, but I’ve done cardio. So I eat my one piece of toast, fully intending to have at least one more slice before pump to ensure I don’t die. But I, of course, forget. So I rock up to pump around 9, absolutely starving before the workout has even begun. 

Pump was the other highlight of my day. Always a good workout, and one that I’ll definitely feel tomorrow. One of my favourite trainers was wearing a shirt with Mulan on it; she had a bar on her back and was squatting, and the caption was “let’s get down to business, to defeat the buns”. It changed my life.

So lifting was done, cardio was done, I washed my hair and made myself a salad to take to work.

Then it went downhill.

Without dwelling on it too much or making my mum feel bad (sorry Ma), I’ll just say that my family are officially leaving on Saturday to head to their new life in Queensland. I will also say that I have been rather stressed about it, and I am not coping well with the idea of having to say goodbye. So this morning, 20 minutes before I was due to start work, it suddenly hit me that they are really leaving on Saturday. Anybody who knows me at all knows that I pretty much live on the brink of an emotional breakdown 24/7, and literally anything can push me over the edge. Someone says something nice? Eyes fill with tears. I see a cute dog? Crying for hours. Suddenly realise your family are leaving and you can’t see them until at least February? Fucking Niagara Falls from my eyeballs. Then I get angry with myself for crying. But what happens when I get angry? I cry. Eventually I look at myself in the mirror to see if I look acceptable for work, decide I don’t care anyway, and head into work. 

I should also mention that I have been having some health issues. So since I was really sick like a month and a half ago, then got another flu like two weeks ago, I have had heaps of headaches, issues with my breathing, and other persistent flu-like symptoms. So I was feeling kinda average anyway, then add on the damage from the waterworks and I was feeling pretty sorry for myself. The beginning of work went by incident free. I was mildly disinterested in what I was doing and just focusing on inhaling and exhaling successfully, but it was fine. 

Until everyone else had gone home.

And I was just thinking to myself, “what was wrong before again?” And then I remembered why I had been upset. Cue tears threatening. Do you ever get in those moods where you just need to have a good cry? It’s possible that I’m the only one, like I said, I’m an emotional wreck. But today I was in one of those moods. And my body decided that the exact moment that I, for the millionth time thanks to my total lack of spatial awareness, bumped my ribs into the metal handle of the cool room at work (admittedly, with some force, but not hard enough to do any damage), would be the moment that I should combust into a mess of tears and not be able to stop. 

Eventually I pulled myself together (it may have required a m&m cookie or two). But as aforementioned, I have terrible spatial awareness and depth perception, so it is a very regular occurrence for me to bump, hit, graze, smack or accidentally slice myself on something at work. And since I had already been crying, it was hard to hold back. I sliced the end of my middle finger open on some plastic and it was absolutely gushing blood; cue the threat of gushing water from the eyes. I got my finger caught between two moving objects on wheels; cue eye water. I spent the last 2 hours of work being on the brink of tears, with the smallest bump threatening to push me over at any time. 

So I came home from work when I finished at 9.30pm, and was so excited to see that my package had arrived, containing my costume for Lisa’s party. “My day is finally about to turn around!” I thought it myself, “hurrah!”.

I should have known. I should have guessed before I even tried it on that something would be wrong. How could it not be, after the emotional turmoil I’ve endured today. The costume that I was so looking forward to wearing, that I spent real money on. Is way too big. And I, being the stingey procrastinator that I am (“I’ll just wait until next pay…”) left it to the last minute to order my costume so now I have no time to order another. 

One final thing that’s adding to my mood today; I rang up my doctor to finally make an appointment to figure out what’s going on with my lungs and why I can’t seem to shake this bout of bird flu or whatever it is. And the only appointment free this week outside of my work hours is tomorrow morning, during my combat time. Combat is undoubtedly my favourite class at the gym at the moment, and an instant mood changer. Exactly what I need after my day today, you might say. TOO BAD I’LL BE AT THE DOCTORS INSTEAD. So I guess I’m doomed to be mopey forever, until I can make combat again on Monday. In the mean time I’m going to go get tf into bed, hopefully go straight to sleep, and pray that tomorrow is a more emotionally stable, less mopey, more positive day.  

and by twice I mean maybe a couple’a hundred times

2 thoughts on “Tuesday blues

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